Have you ever felt like time just slipped out of your hands? Like if you could just relive some moments over and over, without clinging onto mere memories instead?
I’m living in that moment right now. Trying to conjure up moments while I gather up as many memories as I can. Of my childhood, family and friendships. Good and bad, happy and sad.
Somewhere between fleeing in pursuit of a long sought after freedom and finding it, I grew up. But how I wish I didn’t.
I long to be home. Back within the comforts of four walls, shielded by the love of my own. Where every day is no longer a new battle.
I’m learning. I’m growing. Discovering myself. I’m happy. Maybe this is just one of those days, when I wish I could have it all. I wish I could have it all – at home.
We sit across from each other. Hand in hand, lights all around. Chatter and merriment flooding the room. The music fills the room, riding on waves that the breeze brings with it. Conversations pour like torrents as glasses clink and a light headiness returns to our midst.
Your eyes saunter over to meet mine. Slowly, your smile finds its way onto my lips. But only for a fraction of a second. For we are interrupted, when the waiter arrives to ask your friend if she likes the wine. My gaze breaks away from yours. And I turn to smile at the man holding my hand.
I have stolen sugar cubes from restaurants infinite times, right from my childhood. Somehow, I still do.
Nothing else. Just sugar cubes.
Don’t ask me why. I just do.
Thrashing around in a sea of emotions.. let me drown myself in the depths of your soul.
What is that one word for the feeling which words cannot describe?
“Give me an example of something complex that can be broken easily..”said the teacher.
” The heart.” he replied.
Very often ignorance of disruption is what leads to destruction.
“Forever yours..”, she wrote and an oxymoron was born.
The lamp on my desk bears witness to my futile attempts once again.
I try to spill out in ink what it felt like to be with you. To describe to the world our truly memorable times together. To pen down how a distant fairy tale dream of being in love bloomed into a reality – the depth of which I cannot fathom despite my best efforts.
Where do I start? How do I do justice to the beauty of what we shared? Will I be able to capture the raw essence of it with mere words? Continue reading “Inking Love”