Have you ever looked back at life and wondered about some people you crossed paths with? I am not referring to the people whom you have grown apart from or become closer to.
I am referring to the people who left you or whom you chose to let go.
I am a Cancerian and true to the nature of most of my species, I carry my fair share of baggage too. I drag around the burden of the ‘what ifs’.
I often think of the people who exit my life and those others whom I shut the door on. And every time I wonder “What if I had done something different? What if I had put in a little extra effort? Would things have turned out differently? Would I have been happier?”
Maybe. I don’t know the answer. And it is this answer that evades me and haunts me every time.
I’m not complaining. I’m just thinking out loud. Rhetorically.
In fact, given the option I don’t think I would even want to know the answer. Why you ask? Because deep down I think the answer would bring my way a basketful of disappointment.
You are a book I keep reading. Where every page unveils a new story. And just when I think I have finished reading the book, you pull out new pages that I did not know were missing.
As darkness descends onto us after a long summer day, let us take a stroll on the beach. The waves could wash away the masks that we have been wearing all day long and we could be us – the real you and me. Maybe we could just let all hell break loose and watch as our demons dance with one another’s.
We sit across from each other. Hand in hand, lights all around. Chatter and merriment flooding the room. The music fills the room, riding on waves that the breeze brings with it. Conversations pour like torrents as glasses clink and a light headiness returns to our midst.
Your eyes saunter over to meet mine. Slowly, your smile finds its way onto my lips. But only for a fraction of a second. For we are interrupted, when the waiter arrives to ask your friend if she likes the wine. My gaze breaks away from yours. And I turn to smile at the man holding my hand.
Thrashing around in a sea of emotions.. let me drown myself in the depths of your soul.
What is that one word for the feeling which words cannot describe?
“Give me an example of something complex that can be broken easily..”said the teacher.
” The heart.” he replied.
Very often ignorance of disruption is what leads to destruction.
“Forever yours..”, she wrote and an oxymoron was born.
The lamp on my desk bears witness to my futile attempts once again.
I try to spill out in ink what it felt like to be with you. To describe to the world our truly memorable times together. To pen down how a distant fairy tale dream of being in love bloomed into a reality – the depth of which I cannot fathom despite my best efforts.
Where do I start? How do I do justice to the beauty of what we shared? Will I be able to capture the raw essence of it with mere words? Continue reading “Inking Love”